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Yeshoo are. Yeshoo are.

I got lectured again today by my Wesley's groomer. But before I tell you why, let me briefly set the scene.

I dropped him off at 7:30 this morning to get a haircut and a bath. As soon as I walk in the groomer starts talking to him like he's a newborn baby:

"You sha shweet lil' doggie, aren't choo? Yeshoo are. Yeshoo are. Ahhh Guh Gracious. Lemme rub dat lil' tummy. Oh you like that don't choo? Yeshoo do. Yeshoo do. Yes you, you sha shweet lil' boy. Yeshoo are. Yeshoo are."

And on and on it went. Finally she acknowledges that I'm in the room and says hi to me.

The babble talk continues as we take Wesley back to the room where they weigh him and give him a brief look over. That's when the lecture comes:

"Need to get those teeth clean, dad." Pulling out a chart she continues, "His gums are at a stage 2, and if it gets to a stage five, he'll have gingivitis and tooth decay soon after that, and the disease will spread to his liver after that." I mean she really gave me the worst-case scenario.

"Do you brush his teeth?" she asked.

"I think I did one time a few months ago?"

"His teeth need to be brushed every day. It's an act of love," she said.

Brush your dog's teeth! Who really does that? I mean come on...do people really do that? As a kid, I never recall brushing our dog's teeth. Don't get me wrong; I love our little dog. He's a part of the family, but he's not an equal part of the family. Maybe if it didn't cost $200 to have his teeth professionally cleaned, which is what the groomer wanted me to sign up for. That's too much money.

I bet this groomer is someone who tells a story about her dog after someone has just told her a similar story about his or her human children. There's no quicker way to annoy a parent then to compare your pet to their children.

But I do love Wesley, and I think I'll go pat his head right now and say, "You sha shweet doggie. Yeshoo are. Yeshoo are.

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