Caleb Versus the Volcano
By Andy on 3 September 2006 lunch timeCategory: The Boys
My son is an addict, and I think I qualify as an enabler. By definition, an enabler is a family member or significant person in an addict’s life that contributes to the afflicted person’s continued use and abuse of the substance. Examples of enabling include making excuses for the afflicted person and/or supplying the person with more of the addictive substance.
What’s the substance he can’t seem to push back from. Well, I’m sorry to say that he’s addicted to…ahem…volcanoes. What are the top ten warning signs that someone you love is addicted to this sulphuric substance?
10. When your child comes back from the library with 20 books, and over half of them are about volcanoes. My poor wife could not physically bring herself to read another book.
9. When your 3 year-old child knows the difference between the vent, the lava, and the magma.
8. While your toddler pretends to be a doctor and gives you a checkup, he not only checks your temperature, your blood pressure and your heartbeat, but he also says your ear has a volcano in it. Yikes!
7. When your son would rather watch a National Geographic documentary on volcanoes than a Clifford the Big Red Dog cartoon.
6. When you ask him what he wants to be for Halloween, he tells you a volcanologist. (And yes, he does pronounce it correctly).
5. When he tells you that he needs you to take him to the toy store to buy a set of walkie talkies and a watch because every volcanologist has to have this essential equipment.
4. When we have to run to the other room to warn everyone to evacuate because the volcano (which happens to be in his bedroom) is about to erupt.
3. When you suddenly realize you’ve spent $27 dollars on supplies and an entire Saturday afternoon making a volcano. You know the kind. Every year around science project time, there was a kid who brought one of these paper mache mountains with baking soda and vinegar eruptions.
2. When you have to set aside room in the garage for a paper mache mountain…because you know you’ll see many more eruptions in the future.
1. When you are tempted to take a family vacation to Hawaii to see the volcanic national park instead of the beaches.
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Hmm,
— Stephanie Tanner Sep 4, 12:31 AM #With the glasses, the blonde hair, and the manic devotion to science…Caleb sounds like a mini-Chris Tanner!!!! You’d better watch out Andy and Tiff!
I need to tell Caleb my story of the time I ventured down into the valley of a volcano in the Republic Of Panama in 1964. That really wasn’t that long ago—really! It was a beautiful sight from the rim.
— Pappy Sep 5, 11:38 AM #