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How to be a 4 Year-Old Soccer Star

By Andy on 8 September 2007 lunch time
Category: Family

4 year-old soccer is hilarious. Here are a few guidelines to follow if you want to be a soccer star at this age:

  1. Right after the opening kickoff, don’t run, or move. Stand perfectly still, and wait until all the coaches, referees and parents call out in unison, “Go get the ball.” Then make your move.
  2. When the ball goes out of bounds, don’t stop playing. Keep on kicking the ball. Even if you end up on another field, no big deal.
  3. Celebrate every goal…even if it was kicked by the other team.
  4. Don’t pass the ball to anybody…ever.
  5. Don’t hang back to play defense, follow the ball like a swarm of bees.
  6. Make sure everyone sees and comments on your new shoes and shin pads.
  7. Pick a little bit of grass on the field, and sprinkle it on the head of your teammate.
  8. Care a little about the game. Care A LOT about getting a drink on the sideline.

I coached and refereed Caleb’s first game this morning. I was proud that all the players followed all the guidelines above so well. Our church sponsors this Upward soccer league, and it’s a huge success around here. Here are a few action shots:


Caleb’s first time playing. My first time coaching.


Pre-game meeting


pre-game warm-up drills


Half-time pep talk wasn’t very peppy


Caleb playing


Caleb scores a goal


Caleb celebrates his goal

  1. Nice! Another budding football (soccer) player. It’s my favourite sport and I still play, though not competitively.

    Caleb looks like the coolest guy on the field with those glasses on. :) Congrats to him on scoring a goal too. And those guidelines about 4 year old soccer are hilarious but so true.

    — Yannick    Sep 8, 06:03 PM    #

  2. Was that not fun??? Our church also sponsers Upward and EmmaLeigh had her 1st game Saturday and JJ coached. We are loving it! Glad that Caleb is enjoying it too, and so glad that he loves school. EmmaLeigh thinks school is the greatest thing.

    — jj and kelly holland    Sep 10, 11:24 AM    #

  3. Caleb is absolutely the most handsone soccer player that I have ever seen. But he is also the most handsone grandson that I have and can’t wiat to see what my other grandson will look like!

    I will be there for one of his games because he is just to CUTE!!!!!!!!!

    Don’t forget to pack a soccer ball when he comes so he can teach me about soccer!

    Love you! MIMI

    — MIMI    Sep 10, 01:03 PM    #

  4. Absolutely HILARIOUS post. I coach a U-15 select team and my guys hardly need any coaching. They were state champs in the fall. However, I do remember what is was like back then with the young guys and girls. Love the line about following the ball like a swarm of bees!

    — Motorhomes    Sep 13, 01:07 PM    #

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